Would you believe?

Would you have believed if I told you that someday you will look over at your partner who you loved so dearly and think “Ugh" — but then an immediate start of panic spills over you because you're not sure what that moment of apathy means? Who would have thought that someone you were once so crazy about suddenly just leaves you with an emotional flatline, or worse, disdain? Does this mean the relationship is over? Am I going to have to break up or worse divorce? Or maybe this is just the relationship slump everyone warned me about that comes after the honeymoon phase that simply fades into a distant memory...I never thought I would feel this way. I never thought I’d tell a person that I once was so obsessed with that I hated them. It is so sad to have to admit that there is nothing more to fight for. I can see he knows I am emotionally done, I can see it hurts him. I also know he is not sure how to handle this.... he ignores it, he brushes it to the side, he pretends to not see it.... he is lost and it’s my fault? The question is, when did I wake up? What MADE me wake up? Why is the primary question.....