Desolation of my Heart

I am just not happy anymore. I feel like I lost everything. I feel like everything was a lie due to being so blind.  This isolated makes me wonder about a lot of things that I have experienced in this life. I must say, I am not pleased...Is blindness actually the naive I actually am?! In the present I don’t have that spark of life within my soul that I once had ...now my soul is dark and hollow. There’s no more smiles, no more spontaneous reminiscing of exciting happy times, no more looking forward to planning for the future. There are no more sudden moves of my heart...Damn it! I hate this! All my soul does now is cry, weep, and stands still, it hears more than a whisper...Does this make me vulnerable?! NO! NEVER! I hate the feeling consumes my soul. I feel spiraling gray in my own veins... These days have come and gone, to spare these lies we tell ourselves when feeling like this. Will I ever be happy again? Will I gain to not feel the loss? Will the blindfold eventually be sheer? YES! EVENTUALLY! And this time it will be sweeter than honey....