I Want ME!

I feel dead on the inside! I am tired of putting my feelings out there for him to just take for granted! Enough is enough, he doesn’t worry or consider my feelings above all else so time to finally worry about MINE! I am so pushed far away that love no longer exists in my heart anymore... it’s more like an emptiness type of love now, a pity one.... but to be honest I feel pity for myself, pity I never saw the coming, pity I sought out to please him, to fight for his attention, to pretend someday he will see ME... not pieces of what he wants to see of me. My soul is so tired of the what they seem as games. My express what I feel anymore when his actions always seem to validate a reason of justification of his actions?! Moving forward I’ll just shut the fuck up and let my feeling die for good, I’ll let my soul go numb and not care about US anymore! Don’t think it’s ok to touch me, to cuddle me! When you murdered every last feeling of love I had for you in me! Just open your eyes and let the damage you caused unravel and breath! I have a ton of regret imposed upon me now that I am learning to sort and deal with... let me breath! Just go do what you have been all along... go seek out the pleasure from yourself, you don’t need me! Go seek the friends and ex’s that you fought to get rid of for me, go seek their company, their importance to your life! Just go back to being how you were because today you struggle with the change the should be new you... it’s not you, not who you really are and want to be! I will just learn to understand that I will never be number one in any mans life except now my new son’s... I will never chase again! Never! It’s not worth it! I’ve lost myself too much chasing! I want ME back now!